Clydesdale "Champ of the Universe" Cross Race!

THIS IS TRULY IN THE SPIRIT OF CLYDERIDER! Behold!

The big boys and girls will have their day when Bend hosts the USA Cyclocross National Championships next week. Local promoters have announced the second-ever installation of the tongue-in-cheek Clydesdale Cyclocross Championship of the Universe. The Knights of the cross Crusade explain it well in their latest release.

The Knights of the Cross Crusade have spoken, therefore let it be known that on the second Saturday of the twelfth month of the year 2010, a Clydesdale Cyclocross Champion of the Universe will be chosen in Bend, Oregon.
Cyclocross gladiators weighing 200 pounds (1.428 Contadors) or more, and Athenas, female gladiators weighing 160 pounds (1.142 Contadors), or more, are eligible to enter the ring of battle.

The 200+ pounders will have a chance to get their race on during the big event in Bend next Saturday. ©Pat Malach

This quest for the second inaugural Universal Champion of big-boned cyclocross warriors is being heralded as the most prestigious honor ever bestowed in our cycling galaxy. The ceremony will commence at 9:30 p.m. at the Deschutes Brewery Warehouse during the not-to-be-missed “Cross Nats Blowout Bash” Warehouse Party being hosted by Deschutes Brewery on the Saturday night of the 2010 USA Cycling Cyclocross National Championships.
By the power and creed of the Black Knight of the Cross Crusade, the rules of combat have been fortified: there will be no pit, costumes are encouraged, the March Fourth band will be on hand to add to the pomp, and no form of seriousness will be tolerated. Furthermore and heretofore, call-ups will be based on weight in descending order, with the heaviest racers starting first. All warriors will be weighed at registration. The first three finishers will be scored. All others will finish in the herd.
There will be a $15 entry fee that will cover your race fee and your first beer at the party immediately following the race. OBRA licenses will be required. One day OBRA licenses will be provided at no cost to racers who do not have an annual OBRA license.
The race course will be dimly lit, and headlights and headlamps are highly recommended. Race duration will be 30 minutes and will take place on one-half of the National Championship course. Registration starts at 8:30 p.m. at the Deschutes Brewery Warehouse. The party starts at 8. The race will start at 9:30 .
In addition to being awarded with the second ever Champion of the Universe jersey, the crowned Clydesdale Champion will be showered with unspeakable riches, including a season pass to the Frite Cart at the 2011 Cyclocross Crusade series.

It's Raining Again...

So...It's wet and cold outside and you've put your bike up until March. Bullshit. You are super cool. You ride all year 'round. You are one of those nut jobs riding in the snow with studded tires, shoe covers and fancy warm gloves. You're all layered up under your wool jersey and waterproof jacket.

So where, as a Clyde Rider, do you find those XL and XXL thermal goodies? Come on...fess up! We bike apes should share our stashes where we find our larger size finery. OK, I'll start.

I recently scored an XXL, long sleeved, Wallaroo wool jersey by Sugoi on sale at Nashbar.com. It's really warm, looks great and the sleeves actually go all the way to my wrists! They're all gone now, but they have some online at Performance...check 'em out.




So...where do you get your cold weather gear? Got a favorite item? Maybe we can do a CLYDE RIDER group purchase and get a discount! OK...your turn!

Welcome, ya big lug!

I decided to start this site because I recently crashed and hurt myself. While I sat on the couch in a Vicodin haze, it seemed like a good idea. There's already a ton of ink dedicated to the cycling exploits of those little, tiny, fast bastard cyclists who weigh as much as one of my legs. I hate those guys. This site will be dedicated to all those riders who make their spandex work a little harder, who can scare a carbon frame from 30 paces away, and use more oxygen in a single race than a NASA space mission. Enjoy!